The weight of it all.

Every morning is supposed to be the first day I start walking again. I keep reminding myself how I used to do it, I can do it and will do it, but these little pep talks yield no return. This morning I even got as far as putting my sports bra and t-shirt on.
I thought that having a trainer would do it but when he left the substitute just didn't cut it. I'm trying to forget the ridiculous price I paid.
When I see the clock at 5:15am, nothing says to me "get up and exercise." I love sleep too much for that shit.
And then there is my diet... I know what I need and should be doing, but apparently haven't accepted the fact that I can't eat the same way others do without counteracting it some way.
I feel gross.